Thursday, September 8, 2022

A girl's feeling: When a man stares at her

A girl's feeling: When a man stares at her

When a woman is looked at by a man while walking outside the house, it makes the woman psychologically very weak. The experience of girls is that when a man starts staring at a woman, fear, guilt, and insecurity arise simultaneously.

"Don't stay out late at night, don't walk alone, don't wear short clothes, be careful when riding in a car." This is what parents say while warning their growing up daughters.

It expresses the intention that others should not look down on their daughters. However, when a girl goes out of the house, it is uncomfortable to walk confidently. It is difficult to move forward in the streets, especially in the crowd of men.

Sushmita Magar, a post-graduate student at Tribhuvan University, shares her experience, "I walk around wearing short clothes, so I usually don't care if someone stares at me." But sometimes some men look at them in a way that makes them feel very uncomfortable, even saying that they don't care.

While they are walking in Eksura, some men look with crooked eyes or some with closed eyes. In her experience, most men's eyes are on the chest or buttocks. It's okay to look at the common sense. But when you look at each other with bad intentions, it really gets hot," Magar says. But in some cases it is difficult to resist.

It was about four years ago. Sushmita went to her relative's house in Machhapokhari, Kathmandu. Staying there that night, she was returning to Lazimpat in the morning. She saw a man coming from the other side watching her. "He deliberately came towards me and tried to touch me," says Sushmita, "but I immediately scolded him."

Psychologist Gopal Dhakal says - It is natural to look at good things. But looking at women in a way that makes them uncomfortable with wrong intentions means that such a person's attitude is bad. This is a crime, emotional abuse.

Many men have a tendency to stare at women. Psychologist Shreya Giri says that instead of appreciating a woman's beauty, men tend to stare at women's bodies because they are full of sensuality and leprosy.

He believes that when a woman is looked at by a man when she walks outside the house, it weakens the woman psychologically. ``I wonder why they are looking at me,'' Giri says, ``I think that my clothes don't match, that I look strange. And you don't know how to protect yourself from such a look.

She has experienced that when a man stares at a woman, fear, guilt and insecurity arise simultaneously.

Narrating her life experience, Giri says, "I have gone through this situation many times while studying in college. While walking on the road, it was a very unpleasant experience to be watched by the boys. So to avoid their gaze, I used to walk briskly with earphones in my ears or talk on the phone.

In his experience, men tend to stare more at women's breasts. Then they look at the parts of the body that are not covered by clothes. "If someone keeps looking at each other, I go straight and ask them why they are looking like that," says Giri.

Some people have even suggested not to wear short dresses, saying that men will notice them only if they wear short dresses. But Giri says that the problem is not in women's clothes, but in men's mentality.

Some time ago I went to India for a special purpose. When I went there, I wore a full t-shirt, pants, shoes and a mask. Even when wearing full clothes like that, some men were looking at her eyes and chest,' Giri tells, 'so it is wrong to think that men only look at women who wear small clothes.'

Sushmita Luitel, who is studying in class 12, has also faced this situation several times. "Boys often stare at me when I walk," says Sushmita, "Most of the time I walk without caring. But sometimes it feels very difficult.

One day she was going somewhere outside the house. On the road, a man stared in a strange way without blinking. His look was very uncomfortable. She could not move forward with such a look. "I thought it was strange," she said, "and ran back home." Look in the mirror. I felt as if my clothes were torn, something was smeared on my face.

Menuka Chantyal recounts her experience of being stared at by some men when she was going to college. She was very scared at that time. He felt guilty because of his physical appearance.

"I can't stand it now," Menuka says, "I'll go and ask or I'll retaliate."

Why do men stare at women?

Why do men stare at women? There is no single reason for this. The natural attraction towards the opposite sex also makes men look at women. They look at women to see what kind of woman she is, how she looks, how well she dresses.

Similarly, men are fascinated by the beauty of women and look at women. "It is a natural human nature to look at something beautiful," says psychologist Gopal Dhakal, "It is not appropriate to take it otherwise." People's attention is drawn to things that are good or bad, very ordinary or unusual. Men can look at women because of this human tendency.

But if sexuality and leprosy are mixed in a man's look, Dhakal says that it is emotional abuse. "Looking at a woman in a way that makes her uncomfortable with wrong intentions means that such a person has a bad attitude," he says, "this is a crime, emotional abuse."

What kind of men look like this?

It is not possible to categorize what kind of men stare at women on the basis of age, class, place, race. School-age teenagers to old people also have such a view on women. Because it is a kind of mental disorder. Psychologist Dhakal says that such psychosis is connected with people's consciousness and culture.

"Sexually disturbed and depressed men stare at women," says psychologist Dhakal, "this is how they try to satisfy themselves." But it increases their sexual desire more.

Some women also fear that men are watching them. "This is what happens to people with social anxiety," says Dhakal, a psychologist.

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