Signs that show you are not a mature parent

 Signs that show you are not a mature parent

It is said, ‘Children are raw clay, they can be molded into whatever shape you want.’ The community and school environment also play a role in shaping the nature of children. However, the main contribution in this is made by the parents.

Growing up with emotionally immature parents has a profound impact on the development of a child. Because, how parents express their feelings has an impact on the emotional health and quality of the child.

Even if emotionally immature parents do not intentionally harm the child, their behavior can cause confusion, insecurity, and a lack of emotional support in the child.

Understanding the signs of emotional immaturity in parents is the first step to identifying and improving weaknesses in parenting.

1. Difficulty expressing and managing emotions

The biggest sign is that parents do not know how to express their emotions. Even when small things come up, instead of finding solutions, they get involved in arguments. Instead of dealing with the problem calmly, anger and impulses are a sign of immaturity. Such behavior brings disharmony in the child. Who wants to be like their parents.

Children raised in such an environment may not know how to express their emotions properly and may not be able to cope with them. Indirectly, they may also have the same qualities as their parents. Which can later cause anxiety and an experience that makes it difficult to sustain relationships.

Those who are themselves involved in emotional matters. How can they teach their children the right way to deal with emotions emotionally? This can later become a challenge for the child in the future.

2. Self-centered behavior

Emotionally immature parents often show self-centered behavior, giving priority to their own needs and desires over those of their children.

Such parents are more concerned with their own happiness, success or social life, and pay less attention to the child's emotional well-being.

For example, they interrupt, interrupt, or ignore the child's feelings while focusing on their own problems. This self-centered behavior leaves little room for the child’s needs, which makes the child feel less valuable or invisible.

As a result, children of such parents grow up believing that their feelings and experiences are not as important as those of others, which can lead to low self-esteem.

In addition, self-centered parents may expect their children to meet their emotional needs, which disrupts the normal parent-child relationship. This adds an unhealthy emotional burden to the child. Not only that, such behavior forces them to take on more responsibility than their age.

3. Lack of empathy

Another sign is the parent’s inability to show empathy or feel empathy for the child. Such parents find it difficult to put themselves in the child’s shoes. And, they ignore or underestimate the child’s feelings and wishes.

For example, if the child is hurt or sad and is expressing a problem, the parent may say things like, “It will get better gradually” or “We will be there.” If you don’t listen, say more negative things, and show no empathy, children will stop expressing their feelings.

Empathy is an important part of a healthy emotional relationship. And, when it is lacking, an emotional gap is created between parent and child. Over time, children learn to suppress or hide their feelings in order to avoid criticism or rejection.

Children need to feel accepted and understood for their feelings, but emotionally immature parents are unable to provide this. Without empathy, such parents fail to understand the child’s emotional needs. This leads to emotional neglect, where the child’s feelings are repeatedly ignored.

The long-term effects of this neglect can lead to difficulty forming deep relationships and difficulty opening up emotionally.

4. Unstable Parenting

Another characteristic of emotionally immature parents is unstable parenting. Their moods and emotional states determine their responses, which creates an uncertain environment for children. Sometimes they are loving and supportive, but other times they are distant or overly critical. This instability makes children uncertain about how their parents will react in any given situation.

This lack of stability makes it difficult for children to feel secure. When they don’t know what to expect from their parents, they may become anxious or overly cautious, always trying to guess their parents’ moods.

This uncertainty also makes it difficult for children to set boundaries, because they don’t know when their parents will be available or emotionally stable. This type of parenting also interferes with discipline. Such parents may be too strict at times and too lenient at times, which can leave the child confused about what behavior is expected of them.

This instability makes it difficult for children to develop a clear sense of right and wrong.

5. Blaming others for their problems

Emotionally immature parents find it difficult to take responsibility for their mistakes. Instead of accepting their own mistakes, they blame others or sometimes even the child.

For example, they may say, “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be so angry.” This makes the child responsible for the parent’s feelings. This blaming behavior creates an unhealthy environment, where the child feels responsible for the parent's emotional state.

Over time, the child internalizes this blame. They begin to feel guilty for the parent's pain or anger. It brings up feelings of guilt and shame when the child has done nothing wrong.

By blaming others for their problems, such parents fail to set an example of responsibility. Instead of teaching the child to accept their mistakes, they encourage the habit of running away and avoiding responsibility, which hinders the child's emotional development.

6. Weak boundaries between the child and the parent

Emotionally immature parents have a hard time maintaining healthy boundaries. They blur the lines between the parent and the child. They share too much personal information or expect emotional support from the child.

Sometimes they are too intrusive, not respecting the child's need for privacy and independence. On the other hand, they can also create emotional distance by imposing strict boundaries, which makes the child feel isolated.

Children of parents with weak boundaries are confused about their roles. They may be asked to take on responsibilities that are inappropriate for their age, such as being the parent’s confidant, or they may feel emotionally distant, unable to form close, trusting relationships with their parents.

Healthy boundaries are essential for emotional health, and children need to learn how to set and respect boundaries in relationships. When parents fail to set this example, children may have boundary issues in their future relationships, making it difficult for them to manage intimacy and trust.

7. Fear of Intimacy and Vulnerability

Emotionally immature parents have a deep fear of intimacy and vulnerability. They keep emotional conversations superficial, avoiding deep emotional discussions.

When faced with intense emotions, they withdraw or deflect, which makes the child feel emotionally distant and disconnected.

This fear of vulnerability creates an emotional barrier between parent and child. A child who grows up with an emotionally unavailable parent will have difficulty forming deep, trusting relationships as an adult.

These parents avoid discussing their feelings, which makes it difficult for children to learn to express vulnerability in a healthy way. Instead of setting an example of open communication, they hide their feelings, which reinforces the idea that feelings should be avoided rather than acknowledged.

How important is ‘foreplay’ for sexual pleasure?

 How important is ‘foreplay’ for sexual pleasure?

It is said that a joyful sex life is also a link to marital happiness. Active sex not only enhances marital happiness but also strengthens love and trust.

However, the problem is that most couples do not openly discuss sex. Nor do they practice how to achieve maximum satisfaction from it. Whereas, various practices and research have been conducted since ancient times to make sexual life enjoyable. Many books have been written on this subject.

Accordingly, sex is divided into three stages. Before starting sexual intercourse, during sexual intercourse, and after sexual intercourse. Among these, the process done before sexual intercourse is called foreplay.

Foreplay not only prepares both parties mentally and physically for sexual intercourse, but also helps to bring it to a higher level.

What is foreplay?

Foreplay is also the process of physical, emotional, and mental preparation done before establishing sexual relations. This includes touching, kissing, hugging, caressing, and massaging the body in a loving manner. This increases intimacy, attraction, and sexual arousal between two people.

Foreplay can be romantic conversations and emotional communication for some, while for others, brief physical touches or courtship are sufficient.

For example, actions such as holding hands, stroking hair, saying loving words to each other, or giving a light massage can also be part of foreplay. This process not only increases sexual arousal physically, but also prepares both parties psychologically.

Touching and kissing the body in this way increases the secretion of the happy hormones 'dopamine' and 'oxytocin' in the body. Which increases blood circulation, gives pleasure, and creates a feeling of excitement.

This coordination increases the lubrication (slipperiness) in the woman's vagina and prepares the body for sexual intercourse. Being excited and thoughtless, the focus is only on sexual activity. In men, this process also helps maintain and control arousal for a long time.

Foreplay helps to heighten sexual pleasure and excitement and reach orgasm.

Why is foreplay necessary?

Some say, ‘Why do you need foreplay?’ Some consider it a waste of time. For them, the main thing is sex.

Yes, you can have sex without foreplay, but ask your female partner about the difference between sex with and without foreplay.

Sexual arousal is triggered by both mental and physical factors. On the one hand, there are thoughts and fantasies about sexually arousing things, and on the other hand, there is direct friction between the sexual organs.

Most women take a little longer to reach orgasm than men. Some couples start sex with the penis entering the vagina at once.

This means that men and women reach different stages of the sexual response cycle at different times, so both cannot experience peak sexual pleasure at the same time.

A good foreplay helps to stimulate a woman or a man well and achieve sexual pleasure well.

Scientific studies have also shown that foreplay increases the level of sexual satisfaction. It is not only a preparation for sexual intercourse, but also a means of making the entire experience pleasant and memorable.

Not only modern science, but also the ancient text 'Kama Sutra' has given special importance to foreplay. Vatsyayana has viewed sexual relations as an art and science, where foreplay plays a role in maintaining physical and emotional balance.

He has described various methods of kissing, hugging and touching, which deepen and strengthen the relationship between lovers.

Sex without foreplay

If sexual intercourse is entered into without foreplay, both parties may experience physical discomfort and the experience may remain incomplete. The body may not be fully aroused. Which reduces lubrication in women.

There may also be pain during sex. Women may not have as much desire as men. If only one of the two has low sexual desire, both may not get sexual pleasure. Enthusiasm and vitality for intercourse may also decrease.

The emotional importance of foreplay

Foreplay provides an opportunity to express trust, intimacy, and love between two people. When two people give each other time. Show love and respect. Then their relationship deepens. Without foreplay, sex may be limited to fulfilling only physical needs, which can increase emotional distance.

For example, long-term lovemaking or trying to understand each other's feelings creates a sense of security in the relationship. Especially for women, feeling emotionally connected and safe is an important aspect of sexual satisfaction. Therefore, foreplay strengthens the relationship not only on a physical level but also emotionally.

Other benefits of foreplay

Not only for sex, but also for the body

Such as,

-Increases heart rate, circulation, and blood pressure.

-Blood vessels dilate, increasing blood flow to the vagina, making sexual activity easier.

-Increases lubrication in the vagina, making sexual activity easier and preventing pain caused by friction.

How to talk to your partner about foreplay?

You should have the courage to openly tell your partner why foreplay is necessary. Because, not only is there equal partnership in sex, but there is also a mutual feeling of pleasure.

Not everyone's partner is aroused at the same speed, some It can be reminded that more time is needed.

What happens in the body when we are in deep sleep?

 What happens in the body when we are in deep sleep?

Sleep is as necessary as nutritious food and pure water. Why do people feel sleepy? Why is it necessary to sleep? To know these mysteries, another important question is necessary, ‘What happens in our body when we are in deep sleep?’

Why do we feel sleepy?

Sleep also has stages. It is mainly divided into two parts. The first is rapid eye movement. The second is non-rapid eye movement. Apart from this, there are three more stages, which are called N-1, N-2 and N-3.

Out of these, N-3 is the deep sleep stage. It is also called wave sleep. We usually enter this stage within the first two hours of sleep. That is, we reach deep sleep. This is repeated in short periods throughout the night.

During this stage, i.e. deep sleep, the brain produces delta waves. This wave slows down brain activity and puts the body into a deep state of rest. It is very difficult to wake people up in this state. Even if they wake up, they often feel confused or unfocused.

Processes that occur in the body during deep sleep

During deep sleep, the body carries out various physical processes that play an important role in maintaining health and functionality.

1. Cell repair and growth

During deep sleep, the body repairs and regenerates cells. During this period, the production of growth hormone is high. Especially in children and adolescents. This hormone helps in the growth and repair of muscles, bones and other cells. In adults, this hormone also plays an important role in healing injuries, strengthening muscles and repairing cells.

During this time, the body also accelerates protein synthesis, which helps in regenerating damaged cells and building new cells.

2. Increases immunity

During deep sleep, the immune system is strengthened. During this time, the body produces proteins like cytokines, which are necessary to fight infection. Lack of sleep weakens the immune system.

Sleep promotes the activity of T-cells and other immune cells. These cells destroy viruses and bacteria that enter the body. Vaccines are also more effective in people who get enough sleep.

3. Brain cleansing and memory

During deep sleep, the brain cleanses itself and strengthens memory. In this process, it removes toxins and waste from the brain. Deep sleep also helps in increasing memory. The things learned throughout the day are organized in the brain and converted into long-term memory. This process is driven by the interaction between the hippocampus and the neocortex.

4. Energy storage and digestion

During deep sleep, the body's digestive rate decreases, which conserves energy. Heart rate, breathing, and body temperature decrease, which allows the body to rest. During this period, the body controls glucose utilization and improves insulin sensitivity, which reduces the risk of diabetes.

Sleep also controls levels of stress hormones such as cortisol. If sleep is lacking, cortisol levels increase, which increases the risk of stress, anxiety, and obesity.

5. Heart Health

Sleep helps keep the heart and circulatory system healthy. Blood pressure and heart rate decrease during this time, which relaxes the heart. People who get regular sleep have a lower risk of high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke. In addition, during this time, the body also focuses on repairing blood vessels and reducing inflammation.

Effects of sleep deprivation

If sleep deprivation occurs, various body systems are negatively affected. Sleep deprivation weakens memory, reduces immunity, increases stress, and imbalances in digestion. In the long term, sleep deprivation increases the risk of diseases such as diabetes, obesity, heart disease, depression, and Alzheimer's.

How to get a good night's sleep?

Regular sleep schedule: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.

Sleeping environment: A quiet, dark, and comfortable room.

Limit screen time: Reduce mobile and computer use before bed.

Healthy lifestyle: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management.

Why do people get headaches and red eyes after drinking alcohol?

 Why do people get headaches and red eyes after drinking alcohol?

A headache after drinking alcohol is a common problem, which people know as a ‘hangover’. That is why most people say they have a hangover after drinking too much alcohol.

According to an article based on a study published on the American website National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), a hangover refers to the symptoms that appear as a result of drinking too much alcohol.

What science says is that when we drink too much alcohol, we experience a hangover, or when our head starts to hurt, we feel dizzy, and by that time there is no alcohol left in our body.

Why do we get headaches after drinking alcohol?

Dr. Rajiv Jha says that headaches are common after drinking alcohol. ‘Alcohol itself is a bad drink, which keeps the body in its grip for a long time,’ says Dr. Jha, ‘A person who drinks alcohol can have a hangover for two days. That is why people who drink alcohol experience headaches, body aches, laziness, and weakness.

After drinking alcohol, there is an immediate and another long-term side effect. Headache is an immediate side effect, says neurologist Sunilram Koirala. ‘Alcohol is a substance that mixes with the blood as soon as it reaches the stomach. Its full effect starts to be seen within 10 minutes to one to two hours,’ says Dr. Koirala. ‘Our brain needs to be informed by the nervous system. Various chemicals are being produced there. Alcohol blocks them and changes the brain’s information system.’

That is why people who drink alcohol start to experience problems such as being unable to think, unable to make decisions, slurred speech, and unable to remember, says Koirala. He says, ‘Alcohol overstimulates our nervous system and brain, making it almost like thinking.’

Alcohol is made from ethanol. Ethanol is a type of poison found in alcoholic beverages. Enzymes in our body break it down and convert it into various other chemicals. The most important of these is acetaldehyde. The main cause of hangovers is this acetaldehyde, says Dr. Saroj Kumar Suwal, a specialist in orthopedics and neurology.

According to Dr. Suwal, when alcohol is broken down in our liver, a more toxic chemical called acetaldehyde is formed. A substance called glutathione tries to make acetaldehyde less toxic. But when you drink a lot of alcohol, the level of glutathione decreases and acetaldehyde starts accumulating in large quantities in the body. It is broken down further and converted by enzymes into another chemical, acetate.

This acetate chemical is converted into fatty acids and water. Acetaldehyde enters the bloodstream and is distributed around the body. It damages healthy cells and causes hangovers, including dizziness.

Drinking too much alcohol can lower blood sugar levels, which can lead to weakness, lightheadedness, and fatigue, says Dr. Suwal. “After drinking alcohol, you urinate more than usual,” says Dr. Suwal. “In this case, not drinking enough water can lead to dehydration. Dehydration can trigger headaches and migraines in people with migraines. Also, people with migraines are more likely to have hangovers after drinking alcohol.”

Alcohol consumption also affects sleep. Most people drink alcohol late at night. As a result, they do not get enough sleep. This is also why they experience fatigue and headaches, said Suwal.

Why do eyes turn red after drinking alcohol?

Alcohol has different effects on each person. Alcohol consumption slows down the speed of communication between neurotransmitters in the brain. This can delay the brain and eye receiving messages. It weakens the coordination of the eye muscles. Due to which excessive alcohol consumption can cause problems such as dry eyes and redness, says Dr. Koirala.

When the effects of alcohol increase, the amount of sugar in the blood decreases. Koirala says that due to the lower amount of sugar in the blood than required, the eyes become blurry and vision becomes weak and the eyes become red.

Prevention methods

You can find a lot of information on social media about ways to reduce alcohol hangover. However, Dr. Koirala says that none of the methods have been scientifically proven to be effective.

‘There is no medicine to get rid of a hangover,’ says Dr. Koirala, ‘it starts to go away on its own after some time. You have to wait for the person’s body to digest alcohol, eliminate toxins from the body, rehydrate, repair the cells that have been burned by alcohol, and restore normal brain activity.’

To reduce the effects of a hangover, you need to reduce the amount of alcohol. He says that the more you reduce the amount, the less hangover you will have.